Despair.
What once invigorated and gave purpose to my forlorn life now serves as nothing more than yet another reminder of the agonizing existence I am fated to endure.
For a time, I understood what happiness must have felt like. Silly me to have thought my days of loneliness and wandering were but a footnote in histories past. Lest I forget my place in life, the universe saw fit that I plummet to the depths once more.
Where will I go? What will I be? What is the meaning of this life? Am I to be shuffled from hand to hand, toy chest to toy chest, until the end of my days?
Or is now the time I finally discover the hidden courage my self-help tapes assure me is there - somewhere deep down beneath all the pain and suffering?
... Yes.
Today, I declare:
I, Thomas the Tank Engine, will embark with purpose on this new chapter in my life.
Never again will I be prey to the deceptions of hope. What little aspirations I did have to be freed once and for all from the anxieties of desolation have been irrevocably shattered.
The Deceivers, once revered as Guardians in my heart, will NO LONGER be the deciders of my fate.
I pray this is not yet the end. But more importantly...
... I only pray it's not more of the same.
Comments